Today! Yes...today. What happened? Well I woke up at half eight and just sat around in me undies for about three hours in me undies watching T4 playing Mario Kart. Quite nice, then went for a shower to make myself look nice for me fit doctor who then proceeded to put some gel like gunk on my chest (which got in my hurr which then meant another hair wash) and had a look at my lungs. It was like one of those things that you do when you're pregnant to see the baby....I cannot think of what they're called. You know when a word completely escapes your brain when you need it the most? Anyway and we found out that my lungs are knackered.
I got back from there at about half threeish and had ANOTHER hair wash and I used some shampoo that made me hair smell like those litte Campino sweet with the swirly bits in them. Yum.
I then went to LONDON BRIDGE tube station, not CHARING X where Joe and Emily were waiting for me. When someone says London Bridge over and over and over again and you reply with "So London bridge, yeah?" you'd think they meant there and not Charing X. Can't even get to C.X from L.B. Bint.
Soooo anyhou, Went for a walk around Leicester Square and Emmy bought me a Caramel Macchiato, very peculiar and definately not worth £2.65, but I was grateful anyway. Quite the novelty, but I won't be going there again soon me no thinks. Or I might push the boat out and have a cup of tea the next time I'm there. Can't go wrong with tea....but I'll bet Starbucks put a bit of holly on top, being that it's christmas and all and I'll end up with spikey leaves in me drink.
After buying the coffee's that came to about £99999999999.65, we went and sat down on the curb in Covent Garden and watched a bloke jump over a bin and some kids to the tune of Michael Jackson's Billie Jean. There was this girl he chose from the audience to jump over, she must've been about ten or eleven, or elven even and she had the most gormless look on her face that I'd ever seen. I nearly wet myself just looking at her. I don't think anyone else saw the funny side. That bloke also balanced a bike on his head and had a big of a jog. It made me wonder that whether that was what Halfords staff get up to when there are no customers.
We then went to meet Joes Mum, Sally who is always so lovely! I can see why though sometimes Joe thinks she's just an intrusive mental, but she is too lovely for her own good. She came out of Marks and Spencers armed with water for everyone, and a mini christmas cake for me. Bess 'er.
Anyway, we went to the Lyric theatre to see Eddie Izzard's new stand up, Stripped. Bloody genius! After that, Joe and Em paid for me to get the train home with them. On the train home I was reading the personal ad's, purely because 99% of the time, they are just pure comedy gold.
"Male 60 WLTM, Male, 18-30. Could you be my mister right?". Another: "I was the handsome dark haired guy, you were the blonde eating chicken and chips, licking your lips at me on the Bakerloo Line. Christmas drink?". GOLD.
Pet of the day in the London Paper was Simon, a deaf kitten. I told Joe this and he just looked at me, uninterested and went back to his crossword. Old git.
I've just had a bit of cheese just a few minutes ago when I got in, got my laptop and me DS, crawled into bed and that brings us to now.
Docs in the morn, whoopie!
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Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are about to have a Light Sabre fight and just before it, just to put Luke off, Vader says to him..."err, Luke...I know what you've got for christmas!" Luke asks him how and Vader refuses to tell him. In the end Luke gets annoyed and demands that Vader tells him how he knows. Vader replies: "I felt your presents."
I got a lift to work this morning in my mums brand new car. It's a bright yellow Fiat Panda. It's also, disgusting. Even the seats are yellow. It looks like someone was sick on the blue-prints for it and nobody noticed, but they made it anyway.
Work was really boring as usual, but I spent my nectar points on some junk food and just ate crisps and M&M's all night. I was off my tits on sugar. I offered one of the new guys some of my big bag of kettle chips and he put some in a bowl and ate them with a spoon. I now realise why people like us work unsociable hours.
There was this woman I'd not worked with before called Maggie. She had those glasses that made her eyes look gargantuantly massive and really shit hair. She was old (just in case the name didn't suggest it already. But actually in hindsight, look at Maggie from the Simpsons.). She said I was an incompetent manager so I stuck some stickers on her back. I don't think she noticed.
I left work at 6am today instead of 7am as I needed to take the hour I was owed back today, little did I know there were no buses running until 7.45, so I walked from Lee Green to the park and had a walk through the deer enclosure and saw sunrise, which was quite lovely. There were these too horny ones going at it(as in with horns, not ooooh, matron) and they just suddenly stopped after a good ten minutes of them doing it. I think one of them might've been hit in the eye.
I left the park at about eightish and made my way home on foot, because if I stood still too long, all the tea I'd had that night just rushed to my feet and I thought I was gonna wet myself.
I got home to find I had a very late birthday present from Hoolie. Hoolie didn't know what to get me, so he gave Lava and Lukia the money and they got me a massive pair or monkey slippers, some toe socks and one of those me to you bears with some earmuffs on.
I'm starting this diary type thing to monitor just how little I do with myself and maybe seeing just how little I do will make me want to do some more stuff so I can write about it.
There was an article in a paper the other day (not tough to guess, but I'll bet my left arm is was The Sun) about a one year old boy in some country who was found being looked after by cats. The father, a homeless man had apparently lost his son while looking for cardboard to sell. Why he didn't just sell his son, in the first place, I don't know.
I listened to Animal Collective on my way home and around the park. I CANNOT wait until January 12th for their new'un.
It's half three now and I reckon I should go to bed.
